WANT TO STEAL AND OWN A PUBLIC MONUMENT OR BUILDING? It’s called Civil Society and is part of your H

I think it is only fair to warn the people of Malta and Gozo that I am drawing up plans to steal and own a number of public monuments and buildings of my choice – and it is apparently my right to do so. After all, we have the Pharmacy of Your Choice – so why not a Public Monument or Public Building of Your Choice?

The whole process is easy and involves little expense, just a few pictures, some candles and a few bunches of flowers – and of course you have to have time to waste.

Here is how to go about it.

Select your Monument or your Building – in fact as many as you like; for the sake of the exercise I will choose the Auberge de Castile as one of the foremost and most desirable.

Then, select a character or an event you would like to commemorate – for example the creation of the cartoon character by Walt Disney of Mickey Mouse. Establish the first or the final edition of Mickey Mouse and make that your commemoration date.

Every month on the date – let’s assume it’s 1st April known as All Fools Day – go to Castile, display a few Mickey Mouse pictures here and there, place and light the candles and the bunches of flowers. Get a few speakers you have lined up to make heart-rendering speeches about the brilliance of Mickey Mouse, the way he generated fun and laughter worldwide and follow this with a few minutes of hushed meditation.

Do this for a few months and – hey presto – the monument or building becomes yours and becomes part of your Human Rights.

Now, this is the trick. If the Government authorities have the sheer audacity to clear away all the rubbish you have placed there and pronounce you cannot place any more rubbish there and cordon off the area to have it cleaned and restored to the public – your next step is the Court.

This is no problem either because you can find at least 60 lawyers only too willing to lodge a Constitutional Case that your Human Rights are being infringed, that it is your civic duty to continue placing rubbish there and to continue polluting the monument or building, regardless of the State Authorities, the general public etc.

To make life easier and decrease the hassle for yourself, the best way to go about it is to select a few dumbos with a proven record of idiocy and sheer theatrical buffoonery who love to exhibit these talents in public and they will organise all the events and gatherings and rope in a handful of frustrated women with nothing better to do than waste time carrying out night vigils.

I would advise care and caution so as not to steal too many monuments and public buildings at once – just take them one at a time and eventually build them up. Choosing a character to commemorate should not prove a problem either because besides Mickey Mouse, there are plenty to choose from such as Popeye and Charlie Chaplin – and if you really want to attract attention, Adolf Hitler or maybe Josef Stalin.

Happy hunting folks and good luck! Remember, this is your Human Right within Civil Society.

Certu Monica Scerri kitbet:

“Il veru bniedem ahdar tal gangala il vera kerretta tal hmic umbrell jilqa l bzieq”

Bravu iehor, certu Gino Agius, kiteb:

“Min dejjem kien cancer fi socjeta. Toni ahjar tibda thafer dik il hofra”.

ALBERT JEROME FENECH